When James Wolfensohn became the ninth World Bank president in May 2005, it knocked rock star/budding economist Bono Vox out of the running. While some believed Bono would have been a sound choice to serve this important role, we feel he'd be better suited as director of the International Monetary Fund.
What are some of Bono's proposed IMF reforms?
- Members must devote two hours of the week to protesting own organization
- USA forced to contribute 108% of GDP to, y'know, "one of them loser countries"
- Before major votes, participants "must confront their God;" barring that, must confront Bono, who is often compared to Jesus
- Whenever the IMF holds a forum abroad, tour must include the word "Zoo" for some f***ing reason
- Debt forgiveness? Shucks, make it debt forgetness
- Take IMF policy out of '80s into bold new "techno" phase
- Statement of Intent to include assertion that international debt
management somehow more effective when wearing fake muscle suits,
crotch-constricting leather pants and idiotic bug-eyed sunglasses
- Raise money for AIDS by selling IMF-branded iPods, preloaded with
recordings from historic Bretton Woods conference and screensavers of
your favorite malnourished African child
- No-strings debt relief? Try six-strings debt relief! Danala-danala-danala-danala dowwwwwwwww nyeeoww...YEEEAH!!!
- No humanitarian deeds may occur without at least three television crews present to witness it
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