Shorm Enough For Ya?

A lot of people forget that the word "blog" comes from smashing together the words "web" and "log." And if you didn't forget it, maybe you just
didn't know, or care.

Nevertheless, blog has now become a part of our everyday vernacular, and we ignore the fact that we invented a word by simply slapping the front of one word onto the back of another.

But I submit that these linguistic donkey punches aren't true words, but rather the calling cards of the lazy. Not words, but mere short forms, or as I like to refer to them: "shorms."

Some shorms are introduced to the public via pop culture — Ben Stiller created the famous "shart" (shit-fart) in the movie Along Came Polly.
Most others, however, are created by average folks like you and I, and I'd like to weigh in with new shorms that I believe will catch on...

Chegg. This cleverly combines the words
"chicken" and "egg." Usage of this shorm is very time-saving when
you're having that popular debate about which in fact came first. Plus,
as an added bonus, if you're in a restaurant and happen to be ordering
the unlikely combination of chicken and eggs — presto! It's chegg time.
Focoff. While this sounds like it may be
a swear word, it's actually a very useful shorm for the office. Think
of the time you'll save saying "I'm going out for coffee, who
wants one?" Now, all you have to do is yell "Focoff! Focoff! Focoff!"
and people will smile and give you their order. (Word of warning: Make
sure everyone in your office knows of this shorm, or you may be
reported to Human Resources.)
Noss. This is when you see someone naked,
and it's gross. Usage increases exponentially when viewing websites
involving nudist colonies or certain nature shows about the Amazon. It
can also apply to that unfortunate yet inevitable time when you walk
into your parents' room without knocking. Ewww. (Shouldn't you trim
that down a bit, Mom?)
Hellojob. When a first date goes really, really, really well.