iLaugh.com

In my time on this planet, I've learned a thing or two....Here are some of my nuggets of wisdom:

1.  Boobs don't reach their true potential until a woman hits her mid-20s.  It's true, Cosmo said so. And speaking from personal experience, it's true.  Trust me on this one. It’s fucking true.

2.  Just because your gas light comes on, it doesn't mean your tank is empty.

3.  Vodka is evil and should be consumed with caution. Bad things happen when people drink vodka.

4.  Listen to your mom. Moms are always right. You probably don't want to admit it, but annoyingly enough, they are.

5.  Men really are simple.  That's why I like 'em.
6.  If you take a wipe-out or otherwise fall down or hurt yourself, you better make sure your friends aren’t around because they will harass you about it for the rest of your life. Even if you’re bruised and bloodied, they will laugh at your sorry ass long after the scars have healed.

7.  Teenagers are jerks.  Even when I was a teenager, I was a jerk.  So were you.

8.  Even though I talk a good game, I can’t back it up. It’s a pretty safe bet that you can kick my ass. I can talk smack with the best of them, and one of these days, it's going to get me into BIG trouble.

9.  Stop worrying, it’s never as bad as you think. 10.  C or the longest answer.  When taking one of life’s many tests, always go with C or the longest answer.  That little jewel will get you through life.