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• Trevor Smith, better known as Busta Rhymes, was arrested Thursday morning for driving under the influence of alcohol. MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) consider this to be a horrendous blow to their recent campaign aimed towards keeping urban youth to stay out of their Escalades after drinking 40s from brown paper bags. Ethel Stagwick of MADD says, “It’s tough when such an upstanding member of the rap community strays from his role-model status and makes a mistake like this. We’ve separated all official ties with Mr. Rhymes but if he shows remorse for his actions and devotes himself to educating children about the dangers involved, there’s no reason that we can’t, one day, welcome him back to our posse.” Come on, Bussa-Bus! The kids need you! http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7007243723

• Mel B (formerly “Scary Spice” of the Spice Girls) is taking legal actions against her ex-lover Eddie Murphy (formerly “Damon Wayons” of the Wayons family”) and forcing him to take a court-appointed paternity test. Am I the only one that sees how completely unnecessary this is? Anybody that’s seen “The Nutty Professor” or “Norbit” can attest to the fact that every single one of Eddie Murphy’s relatives looks exactly like Eddie Murphy only with fatter, rubbery skin and loaded with more flatulence than your local old-age home. See below for evidence:

Also, when asked about rumors that Eddie has had a vasectomy and therefore could not be the father, his brother Charlie had this to say, “As far as I know, this incident never happened. How would I know if my brother had a vasectomy? Charlie Murphy does not have the itinerary on any man’s penis!”

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7007242487

• A cable company in New Jersey “accidentally” interrupted Handy Mandy (a cartoon on the Disney channel about a Latino and his talking tools) with an important announcement from none other than…hardcore pornography! This, of course, had many parents outraged but I don’t think there’s any denying that a child will learn a lot more from hardcore porn than Mandy. No details have been given about the scenes that were broadcast but the Disney channel has received a record number of new subscribers since the story hit the newspapers. If Walt Disney and Hugh Hefner were still alive, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/231583/disney_playhouse_cartoon_interrupted.html
  
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