iLaugh.com

As much as we've tried to stem the tide of illegal aliens pouring in from south of the border (not Taco Bell, but Mexico), there are still tens of millions of illegal immigrants residing in the U.S. and many others waiting to grab their own slice of the American Frito pie.

 But as I discovered recently during a visit to Pitchfork Media — the web's preeminent indie-rock review site — the illegal immigration crisis has moved beyond the teeming suburbs in border states like California, Texas or Vermont. This has become a nationwide pandemic.

See, it's not enough that Mexican illegals are transforming mainstream America's culture. As this snapshot of Pitchfork's most-read articles will attest, they're taking over our counterculture as well:

Witness the top five reviews: You've got this "Ricardo Villalobos" guy in first place, two albums featuring the Spanish "eñe," and not one but two hombres by the name of "José González." Jesus, is this a hipster e-zine or the starting lineup of the 2003 San Diego Padres?!

And "Nelly Furtado," don't think we can't see you there bringing up the rear. You might be Canadian-born of Portuguese ancestry, but as far as I'm concerned, you ain't nothin' but a damn beaner.

Remember people: Every time you download one of her ringtones, you're taking money out the mouth of a real hardworking American musician. So you think about that.

You think about that good.

You think about that real good.