Man, that is one helluva navbar!
ATTN: Arts/Entertainment Editors
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
iLaugh Comedy Corporation Central Portal (CCCP) Launches with Zero Fanfare
New York City — In a “launch” attended by absolutely no media, fans or even casual onlookers, the iLaugh Comedy Corporation (hereinafter referred to as “the Corporation”) today announced, within the confines of its dead-silent boardroom, the availability of its new website http://www.ilaugh.com/.
“This site is going to be truly, truly awesome,” says iLaugh’s Marketing Director Jean-Pierre Saint-du-Haha, while typing this very release. “It’s gonna, um, totally blow away the competition and uh, be a proactive…force…crap.” Saint-du-Haha trailed off shortly after realizing nobody will ever hear his words.
The website, months in the making, may well change the way people look at comedy-based online destinations. Featuring original animation, interactive games, and user-generated content spurred on by valuable prizes, iLaugh.com bills itself as the premiere comedy site of the Internet, or even Internets.
However, thanks to its extremely misguided marketing campaign, iLaugh’s launch will go unnoticed to 99.9999999998% of the general population.
iLaugh eschewed a traditional marketing campaign, which could have included print ads, posters, a viral email campaign or holding a public event such as a chicken race of some kind. Instead, iLaugh’s campaign was largely internal, i.e., unnoticeable by anyone not immediately associated with the Corporation.
This campaign consisted of:
Saint-du-Haha has since been promoted to Chief Marketing Officer.
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iLaugh Corp. is an acknowledged leader in delivering robust, bleeding-edge entertainment experiences using next-generation comedic technologies for Laughter™ consumers and suppliers alike. Utilizing business-critical applications such as its patent-pending Ha2 technology, iLaugh delivers TFS (”That Funny Stuff”) at a higher and more efficient rate than the leading comedy providers.
Certain statements in this release may or may not constitute statements involving risks, uncertainties, doubts and other shortcomings including such words as “intends,” “could,’ “plans,” “got a hankerin’ for,” or “were just about to get around to that.” These expressions are considered forward-looking (as opposed to backward-smelling) and are not guarantees of future results, performance or even continued existence. They are also subject to rapid and unpredictable changes in competition, technologies, our own incompetence, international law, and other business-type crap that we really have no control over. So you can ignore those.