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Thanks to some court-mandated community service, iLaugh is pleased to offer up this post juss fo’ tha ho’s — of course, our male readers could also learn a thing or two from our Top Five Tech Hunks!

5. Steve “The Man” Mann — nothing, and I mean nothing, says sexy like a guy with rabbit ears on his head. This University of Toronto professor is considered the inventor of wearable computing, and with all that gear on his face you just know he can see right through you — and your shirt! Mrrrow!

4. Steve “Love Connector” Dotto — his stubby fingers could be stroking you just like they stroke the keyboards and cell phones on his sexy Canadian TV show. If our Number One hunk is out of your league, surely you can settle for Steve!

3. Chris “LoverGnome” Pirillo — true, if it came down to a fistfight, most teenage girls could probably take him. But Li’l Chris is not only adorable, he’s a seasoned on-air professional, as seen in this video.

2. Steve “Big Baller” Ballmer — let’s face it girls, power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. And nothing says “power” like the buckets of sweat under Ballmy’s arms as he does his sultry, simian mating dance at this famous Microsoft keynote. Yes, we know you’ve already seen it — and we bet you can’t stop yourself from watching it again!

1. Leo “Limitless Libido” Laporte — ladies, it just doesn’t get any better, or geekier, than this. Housewives the world over who can’t tell the difference between a modem and a mouse have all been satisfied by the dulcet tones of Leo Laporte’s voice. Just like that erotic scene in Ghost, Leo’s steady hand guides you through that AOL install disk and doesn’t let go until you’ve reached Oprah’s Online Book Club. And those retarded shoes he wears with the flames on them lets you know that he can never fully be tamed. Now that’s a man!