Fifteen Things I’m Reminded of Upon Looking at Travis Barker, Drummer for Blink 182

Edvard Munch's The Scream
That punk-rock kid in high school who tried way, way too hard
Alternately, the nerdy suburban white kid who got into rap far too late and just didn't "get it"
A large, sallow, semi-erect penis covered in lubrication, human effluent and a half-assed mohawk
The drummer for a really shitty band (wait...)
An aging transsexual prostitute's conception of what a good-looking man should look like
A dolphin with cetacean morbillivirus skin disease
Those Sunday school lessons reminding us that hell is, in fact, real
The baby from Eraserhead
One of those Burmese chicks with the elongated necks and what have you
Earthworm Jim (covered in lubrication, human effluent and a half-assed mohawk)
The most valuable (cigarette-wise) "punk" in prison
A leaky bowel movement consisting of mostly bacteria-ridden fat, brought upon by the consumption of massive quantities of Olestra
Cordyceps, those disgusting caterpillar-fungus things the Chinese like to eat for some reason
A tattooed douchebag (wait...)

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