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Heard the one about the crooked cop who confiscated a bag of pot, baked them into brownies with his wife and then called 911 because he was convinced he was dying? Normally these guys are more into the donuts, but I'll bet his eyes were plenty "glazed" after this episode.

Check out the playback from the actual phone call he made, in which he tests his theory that time is standing still by checking up on his favorite sports team. Pure Acapulco Gold.